by Fr. Tommy Lane
As we honor the Holy Family today, we might be inclined to think that they had it easy, or life was comfortable for them. The opposite was the case. Just like every family, the Holy Family had what we might describe as crosses, many of them. But they always placed God first. Mary said “Yes” to the angel Gabriel (Luke 1:38), and Joseph immediately did everything the angel asked him. When Joseph was contemplating not taking Mary as his wife, he did take her as wife after the angel told him to do so (Matt 1:24). When the angel told him to take Jesus and Mary to Egypt for safety, he took them that very night (Matt 2:14). When the angel told him to take them back to Israel (Matt 2:21), he did so and when the angel told him it was not safe in Judea (Matt 2:22), he took them north to Galilee. Joseph was always obedient to what God instructed; he always placed God and God’s plan for the Holy Family first.
In that sense, the Holy Family is indeed a model for our families because they had many difficulties to overcome, and they did overcome them by keeping God first. I think the first way to begin overcoming problems in families today is putting prayer back in the central place in the family if it is not already there. Prayer brings many fruits. If there is no prayer in the family, those fruits are missing. A sacred picture in a prominent place on the wall, or a statue or crucifix in a prominent place, is a beautiful reminder every day that God and prayer come first. Read some of the Bible from time to time. A good place to begin would be any one of the four Gospels. Read a paragraph or two and spend a little time reflecting on it and any implications for your life. The peace which the angels sang about to the shepherds is something God wants for your family. Putting God first and praying every day is the starting point for true.
As well as prayer being very important, it is of course, very important to act responsibly in the family and treat others with respect and forgive others. Unfortunately, some family members are not kind or considerate to others. Unfortunately, some family members hurt others in their family. If you are one who hurts others in your family, think of the consequences for them—what you are doing to them. Instead of every time they meet you being an unpleasant experience for them, can you make it a pleasant experience for them? Then it would also be a pleasant experience for you. Can you help them and be kind to them? If life did not turn out for you the way you wished, and it is not their fault, why take it out on them? Instead of being jealous, be grateful for what they have and make every time they meet you a pleasant experience. Maybe they have what they have because they worked harder while you were lazy. If so, why be jealous or unpleasant to them? What do you do to help your family? Do you ever give back and help your family in any way?
You have goals for your career. Depending on your career, you receive performance reviews and assessments of your work from your supervisor or employer annually or more often. These performance reviews of your work tell you what you are doing well and where you need to improve. They are to help you perform better and so help your company or place of employment do better. Do you do a performance review or assessment of the role you play in your family and the help you give your family? If such a performance review of your role in your family would tell you where you need to improve, or even worse, be an embarrassment to you, you are the one who can improve and fix it. You make efforts to achieve your career goals by continually improving your performance reviews. Your family deserves this even more.
I hear from people who have regrets about the way they treated a family member while that person was alive, and now that he or she is dead, they have regrets. If you are being unkind to someone, now is the time to fix that so as not to have regrets when it is too late. If you came home for Christmas and turned Christmas for your family into chaos, now is the time to fix that. There is one heaven for everyone; there is not a separate heaven for the person to whom you are unkind and a separate heaven for you. There is one heaven for the two of you. If you have regrets about the way you treated a deceased family member, make peace now with your deceased family member. Forgive him or her and ask him or her to forgive you and pray for him or her to arrive quickly in the peace of heaven. The best prayer for someone who is deceased is having Mass offered for that person because it is Jesus offering himself to the Father for that person. Again, I think putting God first and praying every day is the starting point for true peace.
I conclude with the prayer to the Holy Family in the encyclical Amoris Laetitia of Pope Francis:
Jesus, Mary and
Joseph,
in you we contemplate
the splendor of true love;
to
you we turn with trust.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
grant that
our families too
may be places of communion and prayer,
authentic schools of the Gospel
and small domestic churches.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
may families never again experience
violence, rejection and division;
may all who have been hurt or
scandalized
find ready comfort and healing.
Holy Family of
Nazareth,
make us once more mindful
of the sacredness and
inviolability of the family,
and its beauty in God’s plan.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
Graciously hear our prayer.
Amen.
© Fr. Tommy Lane 2023
This homily was delivered in a parish in Ireland.
More Homilies for Sunday in the Octave of Christmas
The Holy Family and our families 2021
With Mary and Joseph turned towards Jesus 2017
The Holy Family and our families 2015
The Holy Family: held together by love through all their challenges
God’s plan for the family: a reflection of God’s love
Related Homilies: The marriage of Mary and Joseph
Bear with one another charitably: love your children
The truly great ones of this world: those who love and serve 2015
What God has joined together man must not divide
Year B: Handing Jesus over to the Father in the temple 2023
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