by Fr. Tommy Lane
The Holy Family of Nazareth, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph are put before us by the Church this weekend as a model for our families. We call them “The Holy Family” but that does not mean that they did not have problems. Just as every family has to face problems and overcome them, or to put it another way, has to carry a cross, so also the Holy Family had challenges. Their many challenges come to mind as we read the Scriptures:
We can imagine how misunderstood both Mary and Joseph must have been when Mary conceived Jesus through the Holy Spirit. (Luke 1:35; Matt 1:20) Their story would never be believed.
It must have been very difficult for Mary when Joseph was considering divorcing her when they were betrothed before marriage (Matt 1:19).
When Jesus was born it was the most difficult of circumstances as the birth took place in an animals’ cave.
We see images of families fleeing war-torn countries as refugees and the Holy Family had a similar experience as they had to flee to Egypt to escape the greed of an insane man, Herod (Matt 2:13).
Mary and Joseph suffered the awful experience of losing Jesus for three days when he was twelve years old as we heard in our Gospel today (Luke 2:41-52; Year C)
We do not hear of Joseph anymore, so we presume that before Jesus began his public ministry in Galilee Joseph had died—the Holy Family suffering the greatest pain of all families, the pain of bereavement and separation through death.
Jesus’ public ministry must have taken its toll on Mary. Simeon had predicted in the Temple that a sword of sorrow would pierce Mary’s soul. We can imagine one such occasion as we read in Mark 3:21 that when Jesus returned to Nazareth, his relatives came to take him by force convinced that he was out of his mind. Not a very pleasant experience for any family, no matter how holy.
There was also the pain caused by the rhyme made up about Jesus: “Behold a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners” (Luke 7:34).
And there was the growing hostility to Jesus by the Jewish authorities that must have caused huge pain to both Mary and Jesus, especially as it became increasingly obvious that Jesus would have to pay for his mission by dying.
The saddest moment of all came when Mary watched her son die on the cross.
What kept The Holy Family together and sane throughout all these trials and crosses? The answer is: love for each other and God—Jesus’ love for Mary and Mary’s love for Jesus, and the love of both for God the Father. We can see Jesus’ love for his mother Mary when he was dying on the cross and asked his close friend and disciple John to look after her, saying to Mary, “Woman behold your son” and to John, “behold your mother” (John 19:26-27). What holds our families together also in times of difficulty is love and forgiveness. Love which triumphs in the end, even if for a while love may have to take the form of some honest talking. When discipline needs to be given, if it is not given in love it is reduced to abuse. If ever our families fail in any way, it is because of a lack of love on someone’s part. Whenever our families are successful, it is because they are places of love.
I believe that the greatest threat facing families now is simply that we don’t spend enough time together. We are so busy working, or socializing, or watching TV that we have less and less time for each other. What a pity. There is a story about an attorney who lived a considerable distance from her elderly father. Months had passed since they had been together and when her father called to ask when she might visit, the daughter detailed a list of reasons that prevented her from taking the time to see him, e.g., court schedule, meetings, new clients, research, etc., etc. At the end of the recitation, her father asked, “When I die, do you intend to come to my funeral?” The daughter’s response was immediate: “Dad, I can’t believe you’d ask that! Of course, I’ll come!” To which the father replied, “Good. Forget the funeral and come; I need you more now than I will then.” As I said, I believe one of the greatest threats facing families now is simply that we do not spend enough time together. Spending time together with the family is a way of showing our family that we love them. When we love our family, we want to sacrifice ourselves by spending time with them, and all the more so when we realize that by not spending time with them we are depriving them of our love and hurting them.
Just as the Holy Family survived all its crises through love for each other and faith in God, we pray during this Mass that our families will conquer all difficulties through love for each other and faith in God.
Copyright © Fr. Tommy Lane 2001
This homily was delivered in a parish in Ireland.
More homilies for the Sunday in the Octave of Christmas
Helping our family 2023
The Holy Family and our families 2021
With Mary and Joseph turned towards Jesus 2017
The Holy Family and our families 2015
God’s plan for the family: a reflection of God’s love
Related Homilies: The marriage of Mary and Joseph
Bear with one another charitably: love your children
The truly great ones of this world: those who love and serve 2015
What God has joined together man must not divide
stories about family