by Fr. Tommy Lane
We see contrasting attitudes in the Gospel today (Mark 10:2-16). We see the negativity of the Pharisees and we also see Jesus uplifting and encouraging. The Pharisees asked Jesus about divorce, but Jesus said the married couple are no longer two but one and what God has joined is not to be separated. The Pharisees had misunderstood God’s intention and Jesus elevated marriage to reflect God’s intention.
We see Jesus blessing a marriage by his very presence at the wedding in Cana (John 2). Jesus even used the occasion of that wedding to begin his public ministry when he changed the water into wine. Jesus intervened a number of times to help parents whose children were ill. When the ruler of a synagogue came to Jesus pleading on behalf of his daughter, Jesus went with him to his house and raised the girl saying, “Talitha kum” (Mark 5:41). As Jesus was entering the town called Nain, a funeral was taking place. They were about to bury the only son of a widow and Jesus raised him to life again (Luke 7:11-16).
We see the elevation of marriage to God’s intention for it in the New Testament in the letter to the Ephesians. Part of that letter advises wives and husbands to be subordinate to one another, wives to husbands and husbands to wives (Eph 5:21). It goes on to say that husbands should love their wives as much as Christ loved the Church (Eph 5:25). It doesn’t explain what that means but we know what it means: Jesus died for the Church. That is how much husbands are advised by that letter to love their wives, to die for them. The letter to the Ephesians is saying that the love of husband and wife for each other is a mirror of the love of God for us. At the time of Jesus, that was new, radical, and liberating. There was no teaching about marriage like it at that time that I am aware of. It is even more challenging to husbands than to wives.
To give encouragement in the midst of all the challenges families face today, Pope Francis wrote an exhortation in 2016, Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love), on love in the family. Chapter Four has many beautiful thoughts on love in marriage. The chapter begins with the well-known excerpt of Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians:
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Cor 13:4-7)
Then Pope Francis gave a beautiful explanation of that kind of love in marriage. I would like to share some of his thoughts. Pope Francis says,
Being patient does not mean letting ourselves be constantly mistreated, tolerating physical aggression or allowing other people to use us. We encounter problems whenever we think that relationships or people ought to be perfect, or when we put ourselves at the center and expect things to turn out our way. Then everything makes us impatient, everything makes us react aggressively. Unless we cultivate patience, we will always find excuses for responding angrily. (Amoris Laetitia §73)
Pope Francis gives his understanding of love,
. . . love is more than a mere feeling. Rather, it should be understood along the lines of . . . “to do good”. As Saint Ignatius of Loyola said, “Love is shown more by deeds than by words” (Amoris Laetitia §94) Those who love are capable of speaking words of comfort, strength, consolation, and encouragement. These were the words that Jesus himself spoke. . . [They] are not words that demean, sadden, anger or show scorn. In our families, we must learn to imitate Jesus’ own gentleness in our way of speaking to one another. (Amoris Laetitia §100)
On forgiveness, Pope Francis says,
When we have been offended or let down, forgiveness is possible and desirable, but no one can say that it is easy. The truth is that “family communion can only be preserved and perfected through a great spirit of sacrifice. It requires, in fact, a ready and generous openness of each and all to understanding . . . to pardon, to reconciliation.” (Amoris Laetitia §106, quoting Pope John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio §21)
And finally on peace in the family, Pope Francis says,
Christians cannot ignore the persistent admonition of God’s word not to nurture anger . . . It is one thing to sense a sudden surge of hostility and another to give into it, letting it take root in our hearts . . .My advice is never to let the day end without making peace in the family. “And how am I going to make peace? By getting down on my knees? No! Just by a small gesture, a little something, and harmony within your family will be restored. Just a little caress, no words are necessary. But do not let the day end without making peace in your family.” (Amoris Laetitia §104, quoting L’Osservatore Romanop8, 14 May 2015)
This is just a selection of many beautiful thoughts of Pope Francis in Amoris Laetitia (Joy of Love) on love in marriage and the family. In the Gospel today, we see the negativity of the Pharisees and we also see Jesus elevating marriage to reflect God’s intention. We see that encouraging attitude to love in the family throughout the New Testament and in the writing of Pope Francis and all the Popes. With the challenges families face today, it is good to focus on God’s intention for marriage and the family.
© Fr. Tommy Lane 2021
This homily was delivered in a parish in Ireland.
More Homilies for the Twenty-Seventh Sunday of Year B
Marriage is a school of love and forgiveness
What God has joined together man must not divide
Related Homilies: The Church’s teaching on marriage