by Fr. Tommy Lane
Sometimes we hear people say about the Church’s teaching on the family and marriage, “The Church must modernize itself,” “The Church must bring itself up to date,” “The Church must keep up with society.” Also, at this time, there are movements in many different countries to redefine the family. Long before the time of Jesus, the Jewish people had “modernized” their understanding of marriage and the family and, to use the lingo of today, they had brought themselves up to date—they had introduced divorce. The discussion at the time of Jesus about modernizing was not about introducing divorce but about how liberal their divorce laws should be. The Pharisees asked Jesus under what circumstances it would be okay for a man to divorce his wife, “Is it against the Law for a man to divorce his wife on any pretext whatever?” (Matt 19:3) Jesus told them that divorce is not in God’s plan. He reminded them of God’s plan for marriage from the book of Genesis at the beginning of the Bible, “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and becomes attached to his wife, and the two become one flesh.” Then Jesus went on to say, “They are no longer two, therefore, but one flesh. So then, what God has united, man must not divide.” So, at the time of Jesus, the Jewish people had drifted away from God’s plan for marriage and the family, and Jesus reminded them again of God’s plan for the family. The Jewish people had modernized and brought themselves up to date and in doing so they had wandered from God’s plan. Notice that they did not even know they had drifted away from God’s plan for marriage and the family. Could we say the same about ourselves now?
When Jesus pointed out how they had drifted from God’s plan, they had a further question. Since divorce was already in Jewish law, how did it happen that divorce, which was contrary to God’s plan, was already in Jewish law? Jesus replied, “It was because you were so hardhearted that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but it was not like this from the beginning. Now I say this to you: anyone who divorces his wife…and marries another is guilty of adultery.” (Matt 19:8-9)
When I hear people say things about the Church’s teaching on the family and marriage such as, “The Church must modernize itself,” “The Church must bring itself up to date,” “The Church must keep up with society,” I cannot but remember that at Jesus’ time the Jewish people were also discussing “modernizing” family life and Jesus told them they had wandered from God’s plan. He reminded them of God’s plan for the family. The mission of the Church is not to keep up with society; the mission of the Church is to do like Jesus, to remind people of God’s plan. If people wander away from God’s plan, we have compassion on them and want to help them in any way we can, but the Church cannot be unfaithful to God’s plan simply to be popular.
When I hear people saying about the Church’s teaching on marriage and the family that the Church must modernize itself, I ask them to consider what the Sacrament of Marriage really is. When a couple marry, it is not just the couple getting married; it is three people entering into a union or covenant of love, the two spouses and Jesus. The Sacrament of Marriage is not just living together. It is much more beautiful; it is Jesus united with and blessing the couple. There are three people in the Sacrament of Marriage, the couple and Jesus. So, when people say that the Church must modernize, I ask them to reflect on what the Sacrament of Marriage really is. Could it be that now, as at the time of Jesus, society has wandered from God’s plan and the Church, like Jesus, must remind society of God’s plan for marriage and the family?
Copyright © Fr. Tommy Lane 2004
This homily was delivered in a parish in Ireland.
More homilies on Marriage and the Family
Related Homilies: Bear with one another charitably, love your children
What God has joined together man must not divide
Preserving virginity before marriage
St. Maria Goretti preserved her virginity
stories about family
Family Life in the Christian Community (Eph 5-6)