Without knowing it, we may have stereotypes of other nations, and they in turn may have stereotypes of us. One across the Atlantic is that we forget everything except our grudges, and they call it Irish Alzheimer’s. While it may be a stereotype or joke with some truth, we all know the cross that dementia is and the cross that it can be for those who care for those with dementia. Fortunately God does not have the so-called Irish Alzheimer’s but forgets everything when we turn to God seeking his mercy. We see that in the beautiful parable in the Gospel today (Matt 18:21-35).
The king in the parable was owed a huge amount by a servant, ten thousand talents, and forgave it. One talent was 6,000 days’ wages (one talent=60 minae, and one mina=100 days’ wages). The servant owed not just one talent, but 10,000 talents, which was 60 million days’ wages and allowing for not working on the sabbath, it would take almost 200,000 years to earn it. Jesus deliberately used a number so big to make the point that we can never pay back God for his forgiveness of us. God forgave us through the death of Jesus. Jesus offering his body and blood in sacrifice for us is the ten thousand talents to pay the price for our salvation. As Jesus passed the chalice during the Last Supper, he said it was the blood of the (new) covenant shed for the forgiveness of sins (Matt 26:28). It is the ultimate demonstration of God’s love for us and mercy. As John wrote in his Gospel, God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life (John 3:16).
In the parable, the king forgave the servant almost 200,000 years of wages. This servant then meets a fellow servant who owes him 100 denarii. A denarius was one day’s wage. He is owed 100 days’ wages, nothing in comparison with the 200,000 years wages that he has just been forgiven by the king. Nevertheless he doesn’t forgive and so he is then punished by the king. The point of Jesus’ parable is that the debt of our sin is beyond what we can humanly pay back to our heavenly Father and we ought to forgive others.
The first half of the parable is easy, God forgiving us. We confess our sins in our parishes, and we have the beautiful tradition of going on pilgrimage to Marian shrines and confessing sins while there. There are beautiful liberating confessions at Marian shrines all over Europe every year. People return to their parishes again liberated, and I deliberately use the word “liberated” because being unburdened from all that sin in confession is indeed a liberation. That is the first half of the parable.
Forgive others. That is the second half of the parable. Easier said than done, you might say. One liberation some may need is the liberation of forgiving. I deliberately describe forgiving as “liberation” because if someone is holding onto grudges, bitterness, resentment, and anger, that is not being free, and working through all of that to arrive at forgiveness is indeed a liberation. People who have been seriously hurt by others may complain about the very notion of forgiving others. But forgiveness is not about condoning wrong. Also, depending on the circumstances, forgiveness does not necessarily mean having to return to same type of relationship with the other person because in some cases that is not possible. Those misunderstandings of forgiveness can be barriers to working through one’s emotions to arrive at forgiveness. Another unhelpful barrier to forgiveness is the old adage “forgive and forget.” If the wound is deep, one does not forget even when one forgives. It is unfortunate that this proverb crept into English because it really is not helpful. It works for small wounds but not for big ones.
Forgiveness is about letting go of resentment and anger. If you do not overcome resentment and anger, then you are doubly hurt—hurt firstly by what the other person did to you, and secondly hurting yourself by not working through your emotions to arrive at freedom. Forgiveness is firstly a decision you make and then you work through the emotions to find peace in yourself. Forgiveness is not about changing the other person; it’s about changing yourself so that you achieve peace and happiness and healing in your life. The deeper the wound, the more effort it will take to arrive at forgiveness and peace, and some people find it easier to forgive than others.
God does not have Irish Alzheimer’s. God forgets everything when we turn to him seeking his mercy. Jesus paid the price for that. Jesus asks us to forgive others, and it really is for our own good if we can do so as it brings us peace and happiness.
© Fr. Tommy Lane 2026
This homily was delivered in a parish in Ireland.
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Forgiveness 2023
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